January 25, 2005

Humour


Viewing By Category : Humour / Main


February 19, 2005


Jimmy Carter and the Submerged Rabbit


This image is pretty amusing, sourced from Baen library.


Direct image


Combine this with Phil's piece, and you get an interesting parallel.


The Navy is simply giving Carter the benefit of treading water rather than landing aboard US Sovereign territory, by giving him a submarine rather than a carrier. Just like Carter gave the rabbit.









February 9, 2005


John Kerry is a Jerk


I found this at Tim Blair.


The host of Wheel of Fortune apparently didn't like John Kerry being a jerk


I for one, appreciate Pat Sajaks plain spoken comment. It cuts through a lot of unnecessary analysis and gets directly to John Kerrys essence. And it saves time in the process, too. So the next time I see Kerry on TV making pompous and disingenuous proclamations, I think Ill follow the example that Pat Sajak has so ably provided. Rather than get into a needlessly lengthy debate, Ill just pithily respond, Aahh, what a jerk!


Thanks, Pat. I feel better too.


Here's another Kerryism


How can they say I'm on the wrong side of history?" he asked rhetorically. "I'm speaking out against Bush blunders in Iraq, and I plan to vote for another $80 billion to fund the blundering. You tell me which side of history I'm on."









February 7, 2005


British Burglary tips


Some tips for what to do to placate burglars and save yourself a lawsuit It also helps to prevent irritation of the burglar, thereby prolonging your lifespan.









February 4, 2005


Ethnic Warfare


The only thing funnier than engineers doing philosophy, is professors doing warfare.


A very confusing recount for a very confusing place of intellectuals. Via www.instapundit.com












Reality or Satire?


I'll leave you to figure out which.


Chris Matthews: Let me just throw something else in the mix here - if the President is Jethro, and Laura Bush is Ellie Mae - at least there seems to be some possibility that she is - does that mean that the first President Bush and Barbara Bush are Uncle Jed and Granny?


Andrea Mitchell: No, because they weren't married.


Chris Matthews: Just a second, here. Andrea Mitchell, are you asserting here, on national television, that President Bush - the first one, not 'W' - and First Lady Barbara Bush were never legally married?


Andrea Mitchell: Of course not, Chris, that would be silly. I was talking about Uncle Jed and Granny.


If reality, Chris Matthews has gone off the deep end. "asserting here on national tv" indeed.


If satire, then it accurately captures the Chris Matthews aura. Though it leaves much to be desired concerning how Chris overrides people's sentences, and even sometimes his own.









February 3, 2005


Jokes











Humorous Translation of SOTU response


A good laugh is something we all need in such dire times as "the greatest violence since the elections, have erupted".


Healthcare: BUSHCO IS GOING TO KILL YOU! KILL YOU! BUT STICK WITH US AND CHRISTOPHER REEVE RISES FROM THE GRAVE AND WALKS!


Read on, the gift keeps giving for a bit. Don't miss Bush's snubbing of Georgia's representative. I think I was in one of her districts before 2002.


Too bad she rewon her seat with fascist tactics.


finally, scroll down to the comments section here to see jokes on Pelosi.









February 1, 2005


Make Prostitution Legal


Maybe not..


Under Germany's welfare reforms, any woman under 55 who has been out of work for more than a year can be forced to take an available job including in the sex industry or lose her unemployment benefit. Last month German unemployment rose for the 11th consecutive month to 4.5 million, taking the number out of work to its highest since reunification in 1990.
Worry not, it gets much worse if you read it all.


God bless Democratic Socialism. Oh wait, God doesn't exist in Germany, my bad.


Democratic Socialism uber alles!


I feel sad for these people. But unlike the Iraqis, they have a democratic government. And the blame can be laid no where but to the citizens of Germany for letting their own efficient bureacracy, run away from them. I thought they would have learned risks concerning the power of government and force, by now. But I suppose a culture that glorifies pacifism, does not understand that with great power comes also great responsibility. They have become so irresponsible, that they are no longer wise or experienced enough to hold that power in check.


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January 31, 2005


He's back


See Arnold Run A BioDocumentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger.


Any Arnold fans should surely catch it at Wednesday this week, if they missed it on Sunday.












NY Times's phase variance


Ann Has some interesting things to note about how the NYTimes are changing their Headlines, and how fast.
Earlier today, I commented on the somewhat positive NYT headlines here, including one that said "Amid Attacks, a Party Atmosphere on Baghdad's Closed Streets." That article was picked up by Memeorandum, which collects blog commentary on it: a lot of prominent bloggers have observed that even the NYT is acknowledging the great success. Then, I clicked on the link for the article and the headline is now:


Insurgent Attacks in Baghdad and Elsewhere Kill at Least 24

The fun ain't over yet, keep reading.


Courtesy of instapundit.









January 30, 2005


Scotland terroist unconvicted


Say it ain't so, Scotty!









January 28, 2005


Barbara Boxer on Kos


I never did like reading, Kos. And I found that out in 30 seconds after I first went to his website 2 years ago. Disdain at first sight.. interesting.


Senator Barbara Boxer posts at Daily Screw Them Kos: Thank you so much. (Hat tip: Jheka.)


It is interesting Barbara Boxer's tone of her writing. Interesting in that it makes her a true believer. She actually believes what she says... Wow.


I got a much lower respect for politicians after reading that. I mean, I know you have to lie in politics, if only lies of omission, but a politician does the country a disservice when the politician loses sight of what he/she is lieing FOR.


True believers... scary people. Because unlike rational people, they will take you along with them in the end.









January 27, 2005


Suicide Bomb Ethics


Suicide bombers also die in the name of a better life for others; it is just that, unlike martyrs, they take others with them in the process.
Key phrase: It is just that ... Such a minor distinction. Why quibble?


The martyr bets his life on a future of justice and freedom; the suicide bomber bets your life on it. But both believe that a life is only worth living if it contains something worth dying for.

Teenage poetry meets Islamofascism. Sweet.


I just have to ask again, what are these people SMOKING? Cause I need some of that. Read on, there's more smoking in the pipe than that.


Oh, ya, Real suicide bombing isn't what it is cracked up to be


But on Dec. 24, he was given a preliminary job of driving a butane-gas delivery truck that was rigged with bombs. It wasn't supposed to be a suicide mission.


They asked me to take the truck near a concrete block barrier before turning to the right and leaving it there, he says. There, somebody will pick up the truck from you, they told him.


But they blew me up in the truck, he says.


Pardon me if I engage in extreme schadenfreude... Of which I will do promptly.









January 26, 2005


Purchase New York Articles


I think we should contact the guy sellng the instapundit.com domain because I think we might have another sucker, if the NYT believes people interested in the truth are going to pay for their "articles"









January 25, 2005


Instapundit for sale


If the British keep smoking their pot and injecting themselves with safe heroin, then the next thing they'll fall for probably will be the sale of Instapundit.com They will feel real welcome along with CBS and Peter Jennings and shopping for funerals to coverage to balance the inauguration.


'Europe's intervention in what has become a major issue in the election campaign took Westminster aback. MPs and officials were unaware of how much national sovereignty on immigration and asylum had been transferred to Brussels.


Oops, we gave away our rights, Oh Darn.


The Keystone Kops keeps coming to mind, but a better allusion might be Voyager where they refused to return fire and let some pirates steal some key equipment off of the ship, including the main computer that targets the ship's weapons. Oops, too bad we didn't shoot when we had the chance eh instead of waiting around to be suckered...


It reminds me of what France must have felt when the Nazis bypassed the Maginot Line through Belgium. "They were unaware, that it could be bypassed". And unaware, of course, that they were on their doorsteps.












Kerry's carrying a POW


A nice fun picture about Kerry and some soldiers from 356th Engineer Battalion and 126th Aviation Battalion


And some Dennis Miller jokes


The Specialist's hand seems a bit too rigid to be the result of any common hand motions. It seems she has her thumb tucked into her hand, all but the middle finger clenched in a fist, with her middle finger folded at a 45 degree angle from the rest of her knuckles. Blackfive has some interesting suggestions for what the hand sign might mean.


'I don't even understand why weve taken nuclear weapons off the table. I mean we treat them like our mother's good china. We never use them. I think you've got to pick a day where there's no wind, in a desolate part of the Earth, just blow off a bomb just to let them know were sitting on a nice hold card, okay?'
It is Miller time, that was the bomb of a joke. Part of why it is funny is that he is serious as well.









January 21, 2005


Some people are just idiots











UN Scam








January 19, 2005


Cheese


Election fraud that doesn't exist and is being covered up


Wow, who could be behind this conspiracy? Bush? Heh, if he is, then he might indeed be the Stupid President of history.









January 14, 2005


Moore Time








January 10, 2005


Alpha


Here it is, a spot where I can write and write and write about all sorts of things. Usually, political, military, or comical.


Got an entire store of things to post, but all are old and nothing is new, yet.


There is news to the Tsunami (Divine Wind) Disaster, and it is of the comical, not of the tragedy vein. Of course, from what I can see, most people don't have grim/gallow's humour, and that is quite unfortunate.


Because when it is the US in the gallows, everyone seems to gain a nice appreciation of gallow's humour all of a sudden. And I mean "everyone"


Comedy of the Divine Wind


"13. Going for the Pulitzer: The Egyptian nationalist weekly Al-Usbu' has publishes an investigation by correspondent Mahmoud Bakri, titled "Humanity in Danger":


"Was [the earthquake] caused by American, Israeli, and Indian nuclear testing on 'the day of horror?' Why did the 'Ring of Fire' explode?... The three most recent [nuclear] tests appeared to be genuine American and Israeli preparations to act together with India to test a way to liquidate humanity."


Damn those Hindu Zionist.


14. The dumbest rhetorical question of the year: goes to Kofi Annan touring Aceh:


"You wonder where are the people? What has happened to them?"


As soon as the UN realizes what happened to all the people, I'm sure they'll be sending an assessment team. Emergency aid will follow in six months' time."



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